Dear Senioritis

Senioritis.

It's the worst kind of feeling staying up until 1am cramming an assignment that was due last Friday. It's even worse when I turn it in only to find out it was the wrong assignment and that it can't even be turned in as supplementary material because, though unintentionally, it mirrors a sample assignment from the syllabus. So here I am, sitting in my 8am Romans class, drinking coffee to stay awake, paying the penalty of staying up late to accomplish something that won't go for anything. This semester is kicking my butt.

It doesn't help much that I'm busy outside of class. I'm quickly finding that I simply don't have much downtime this year. I guess classes, work, and internship will do that to a person. But, I can't complain; I'm already learning how to find balance between work and play and, more importantly, how to separate the two. It also means I'm learning to compartmentalize things in my life a little more efficiently (though there is One thing that could never be compartmentalized, because Christ dominates my being).

I'm learning quickly, and in a tangible way, the meaning of priorities. I have a prototype stage light sitting unfinished on my workbench, waiting for me to make another 20 minutes or so worth of progress. Footage is slowly, gradually beginning to pile up on my computer, tucked away in neat date-stamped folders, untouched and unprocessed. My frisbee golf discs sit almost unnoticed underneath the passenger seat in my car, which is getting dirtier and could use a good wash so I can touch up the paint in a few places before the cold weather comes. My diving flippers are really no more than a decoration at the moment.
At least I was able to do an oil change on Sunday afternoon.

The things I so passionately involved myself in over the summer fade into the background behind employment and academics, and I still find myself getting less sleep than normal. This week is going to be particularly busy because it is Missions Emphasis Week on campus. This means we have chapel every day, which cuts into my normal work schedule. To make up the hours, I'll be working extra in the afternoons, which cuts into my normal homework schedule, which will in turn push side projects and socializing all but out the window. I don't mind this, because introversion rocks, but I definitely feel a little sting.

And then there's senioritis.

It's the thing that sucks away every the last few drops of motivation I have left at the end of the day to actually do the work that I need to do for classes. It's that whispering voice at 5:00 that says, "Oh, look at how beautiful it is outside. I should enjoy it for an hour before I go back inside." It's the thought at 10pm that says, "I should be going to bed in an hour, but I'm really craving a limeade." It's the lapse of judgment about once every couple weeks that seems to forget what taco bell does to the digestive system. It's the coffee mug that seems to run dry far too quickly. It's the paper that's written the night before it's due. It's the blog post written in the middle of class between note taking.

I had previously passed off senioritis as a myth, but I'm starting to believe it could very well be a reality. This idea comes as a swift kick in the rear, though, when I realize that I have three semesters left. If I'm feeling senioritis this early and with so comparatively little time left, I don't want it to drag my GPA into the black abyss of irreparability. I've worked hard to bring it up to the 3.46 where it currently resides, and would like to continue the upward trend if possible. This means hard work and dedication, more coffee, and more consistent prioritizing of life. And it will pay off. The sense of relief I experienced yesterday when I completed and submitted the final requirement of my Associate of Worship Arts degree will only be magnified when I complete my Bachelor's next fall.

Senioritis won't be the end of me.