[Geek Stuff] CSS - Animated Social Icon Links

Have you played with these little icons at the top my blog before? If you haven't, go ahead, do it. I personally find them to be amusing. Anyway, the code is rather simple, and I wanted to to show you how I did it in case you want to do it yourself!

Here is the full code:

<style>
{
  -webkit-box-sizing: border-box;
     -moz-box-sizing: border-box;
      -ms-box-sizing: border-box;
          box-sizing: border-box;
}
 
body {
  background: #333;
}

 
.pic {
  border: 0px; 
  float: left;
  height: 75px;
  width: 75px;
  margin: 0px;
  overflow: hidden;
  opacity: 0.75;
}

.pic:hover {
  border: 0px; 
  float: left;
  height: 75px;
  width: 75px;
  margin: 0px;
  overflow: hidden;
  opacity: 1;
}


/*TILT*/
.tilt {
  -webkit-transition: all 0.5s ease;
     -moz-transition: all 0.5s ease;
       -o-transition: all 0.5s ease;
      -ms-transition: all 0.5s ease;
          transition: all 0.5s ease;
}
 
.tilt:hover {
  -webkit-transform: rotate(360deg);
     -moz-transform: rotate(360deg);
       -o-transform: rotate(360deg);
      -ms-transform: rotate(360deg);
          transform: rotate(360deg);
  width:150px;  
  
}

</style>

The class .pic is pretty standard. I set the opacity to 0.75 (or 75%) for .pic and 1 (or 100%) for .pic:hover. As you may have guessed, this means that the icon will be semi-transparent when left alone, and will become opaque once a cursor hovers over it.

As you can see, I used a webkit for the rotation. This will show up at the beginning of the code and also under /*TILT*/. Under .tilt, I set the transition time to 0.5 seconds, and under .tilt:hover, I set the rotation to 360 degrees to suit the specific effect I was going for. These can be changed to whatever you'd like. Play around with it and see what you may find. Also under .tilt:hover you'll find the trick I used for getting the icons to separate when hovered over. 

Notice how under .pic, the width and height are set to 75px. However, under .tilt:hover, the width is set to 150px. Crazily enough, this actually works as long as you have a transparent background and no border. Of course, you can set the widths to whatever you'd like, but as a rule of thumb I make the hover width double that of the image width for nice, even-looking spacing when the icons separate. Perhaps if you had a wider-spaced slew of smaller social icons, you could also add an enlargement effect with a transition time so the icon "zooms" larger when you hover over it (something I thought of doing but didn't employ myself).

And then, as might be normally expected, here is a code sample for one of the icons (URL obviously changed).



<div class="tilt pic> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/" target="_blank"> <img src="http://imageshack.com/a/img577/1897/fo6b.png" width="75" height="75" /> </a> </div>


As you can see in this example, the size of the image is rescaled to 75x75 to match the sizing on the style sheet. You can resize your icons to whatever you want, but make sure the sizing is the same in the style sheet, or the separation-upon-hover trick won't work properly. Since I really only have six icons in this example, 75px works quite well. Notice also the div class is "tilt pic". This selects the .pic and .tilt classes to be applied simultaneously to the icon. The div should be done separately for each icon. I tried grouping before, and it didn't work smoothly with every browser. Keeping them separated will ensure consistent operation across a multitude of browsers.

Uploading the icons to your own photohosting account (such Photobucket) will ensure the links don't get broken later on. There are several sites where you can find entire packages of various social networking icons. 

It's simple, but simple is how I like to operate!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. 

[Payday] - New Camera Day

Today is payday! Being the first payday of the semester, it'll be my largest paycheck until at least Thanksgiving break. Having calculated my current finances, anticipated income for the semester based on my set schedule of work hours, and estimated expenses, I'll be able to pay my non-loan debts, buy a couple things I want, take care of normal day-to-day necessities, and still come out ahead without having to fall back on student loans. I can't express how happy I am right now about this. For the first time in my collegiate career, I don't have to wonder if I'll be able to pay for basic things like phone and laundry. This year, I'm going to have extra.

I'm a pretty lucky dude.

I get to work 19 hours a week between two departments (I.T. and cafeteria) while others are practically begging for hours. I know that to some extent I've earned it; I've made a name for myself by working hard and doing well. At the same time, I also know that what takes years to build can be torn down in a minute. This is going to be my busiest year yet, and if I don't maintain a healthy balance between work and play, I'm going to burn out. This year is going to be all about discipline: work first, play later. Go to bed at a set(ish) time each night regardless of homework that may be due. And, importantly, make time to get away from campus and adventure.

That said, I ordered a new camera today! Back in July, I bought my first GoPro (Hero 3 White Edition) and spent the last month getting used to using it. Now that I've somewhat got the hang of it, it's time to upgrade to the real thing, the Hero 3+ Black Edition. It's a bit of an investment (roughly $550 for the camera and accessories), but it's one that I know I'll far beyond my money's worth. I'm definitely pretty stoked for the adventures I'm going to have with it and, further, the ability to document them in 2.7K resolution at 30fps!

This is going to be a fun year.

When Seeing (Still) Isn't Believing

"I'm afraid that I am me and I have no say in it. I dare to be self-aware when ignorance is bliss." 

-Showbread

I have a confession to make.

Perhaps it's a natural byproduct of depression, but I'm a doubter. I doubt other people's abilities to follow through on their promises and my ability to follow through on my own. I doubt the truth and sincerity of things people say. I doubt my resolve in following Christ and the persistence of His love for me. I doubt the things I've studied for three years. I doubt the so-called relentless "grace" that the evangelical Christian subculture often seems to over-hype. I cock my head and raise an eyebrow when someone justifies a choice or an action by saying, "I felt peace about it." 

I've seen enough experiential "evidence" in my own life to justify my longing to have faith in God but often question my reasons for believing. I find myself trembling on the edge of disbelief more often than not, "searching" more than "certain," asking for answers that I'll probably never receive in this lifetime. I sometimes avoid talking to certain people simply because they talk so arrogantly about their beliefs and why they "know" that they're right. Sometimes my stomach just can't handle another debate about creation vs. evolution, free will vs. predestination, cessation vs. continuation, or any of the numerous other topics that people dance in circles around. Because when it comes down to it, I'm skeptical by nature and cannot hide it anymore.

I'm skeptical.

I grow tired of people assuming they know me when their presumptions regarding my faith and resolve are probably wrong. The truth is, I don't believe in a God who satisfies the emotions or the intellect. I don't believe in a God who fits into a box of understanding. I can't justify it when there are so many Christians with so many different conclusions that they come to by the same word. Each will claim to have the (or a) correct interpretation of scripture, but it only leaves me skeptical. Who, if anyone, is right? Augustine? Luther? Calvin? Piper? Wright? Lewis? Sproul? Moody? Chan? Cottrell? Driscoll? Reese? Moore? I shake my head and walk away from the table.

I grow tired of sitting in chapel and listening to the same words repeated over and over. I grow tired of being asked to agree to lifestyle guidelines that I don't agree with. When I see content and formatting being changed to satisfy the donors who fund this college, my mind flashes to Galatians 1:10 and I question the motives of those on the board of directors. And when I'm urged not to question but to "simply trust", I question the person urging me. Perhaps life was just easier when I was more naive, but I cannot pretend as though I can't see what's going on. 

I question everything around me.

I'm not one to intentionally step on toes, but I'm not here to please anybody. I can't pretend that just because I'm a bible college senior I have it all together. The truth is, I don't. I don't have the passionate zeal that I used to and half the time I wonder why I follow Jesus at all. Just as much as I question why I follow Jesus, I question the Jesus I'm following. Am I following the real Jesus, or am I following some 21st century idea of Jesus diluted by two millennia of theologians, polluted by postmodern philosophical ideals and catered to those with the funds to line the preacher's pockets and fill the institution's coffers? More importantly, how am I to know the difference?

I've abandoned the Jesus I was handed in youth groups under the conclusion that what I was given was really just a fluffy idea under the label of Jesus designed for the purpose of behavior modification. I've left the image-obsessed tabernacle of name-it-and-claim-it, feel-good preaching designed solely for the purpose of keeping the business of the church economically stable. I grew tired of seeing demonic activity passed off as workings of the Holy Spirit. I grew tired of false teachers forcing and coercing false phenomena and passing them off as genuine miracles.

I grew tired of this so-called "Christianity."

But ultimately I'm concerned. There is a longing inside every person for something more, and I'm no exception. I want to follow Christ, but I'm afraid of subscribing to yet another idea that will only lead me to live again by what I see. If I am to walk by faith and not by sight, am I to trust that what I see is not what is? Or am I to have faith that what is is not what will be? Too often I forget that the hope Jesus promised to his followers is not for this life. I find myself looking for an anesthetic when Jesus promised that this life will bring troubles and pain. 

Perhaps I'm too self-aware for my own good, delving deep into parts of my mind that I suspect may be best left untouched. But what I've discovered is that once something is known, it cannot be un-known. Each new thing I discover affects the rest of my being in ways that I can't entirely explain. It leaves me trying to reconcile fact with faith and once in a while I come up short. Sometimes I need to question and re-assess things I had previously accepted as true in hopes that I'm not just believing blindly. Sometimes, I find myself doubting, trembling on the edge of disbelief, searching, asking for answers that I'll probably never receive in this lifetime. Sometimes, I find it hard to believe.

I'm not afraid to admit that.

Calm is Coming

At least, that's what I'm hoping for.

The past few weeks have been pretty crazy. As I've written about, I've been everywhere for a while. The week prior to leaving home was spent running around Eau Claire, looking for buildings I could climb, views I could photograph, and getting as much video footage I could with my GoPro. I even found myself a little frustrated when I left home because the one building I had spent years wishing and the entire summer searching for a way to climb, I finally found way up that would allow me to film the sunset over the entirety of downtown and the river (two rivers, actually), and I just didn't have enough time to do it.

After leaving home I went to visit Dubuque, Waterloo, and Des Moines. By visit, I mean run around and search for views to capture, buildings to climb, and things to film. Des Moines was also a weekend with internet friends. I found myself at peace in Dubuque, frustrated by my lack of guts and physical ability in Waterloo to gain access to a fire escape that would allow me a way to the top of the tallest downtown building, and tired halfway through the weekend in Des Moines because all the running around was starting to catch up with me.

These two videos sum up the end of my summer.

By the time I returned to campus last Tuesday, I was exhausted. But the busyness continued with re-setting up my room, working, visiting a friend, getting things squared away for (and starting) classes, visiting another friend, treating a nasty poison ivy reaction, and other somewhat normal things. 

Classes will be in full swing next week, which means I'll be able to settle into a consistent sleep schedule again. Priorities will settle into order and I'll find out how my attachments may have changed. One internship will end and another will begin. The excitement of being back on campus and people (freshman in particular) will settle down. Nights will become quiet again. Breakfast will be regular. Schedules will solidify. Structure will emerge and order will rule my days. Calm will come.

But there is another calm that I'm hoping will come.

A Week Already?

I've been back on campus for a week (well, since last Tuesday), but it only feels like it's been a couple of days. I'm not sure if this is because I've been simultaneously tired and busy, but I'm certain that both have definitely contributed. I'm sure depression is playing a factor per usual, but with as tired as I am it's difficult to gauge the extent to which it is involved in my current state of being. Fortunately, working in I.T. is keeping me occupied enough that I'm not just sitting around swimming in an ocean of what-if. Plus, classes are starting Thursday. That'll give me something to keep my mind occupied.

I find it ironic that I was originally slated to come back early to help with Student Council activities and ended up not being involved in any so far, save helping a few new students move in last Saturday. But if I have to be honest, I'd rather be working anyway. Aside from the financial motivation to work, I find myself inexplicably uninterested in student council. I didn't initially want to be in it last year, but the idea grew on me over the summer. Now I'm feeling kinda so-so about it. I'm not going to state my reasons for that quite yet.

I can't really express how nice it is to be back in my own room again. The privacy of being able to close the door completely is something that I missed over the last three months. The room I was in for the latter half of the summer did offer privacy, but being able to lock the door means I can sit and think without someone barging in on me. There's also a sense of familiarity and comfort to this room that's difficult to think of coping through my last on-campus year of undergraduate study without. 

Still, I've already found myself getting away from campus when I can. Last week I revisited some old rooftops. Over the weekend I drove an hour to visit a friend, then visited another friend before I returned to campus the next day. This week I've already gotten in a round of frisbee golf. This weekend I'll be out of town as well. Still, intermittently I'll just drive around for ten minutes or so before returning to campus. I guess I'm just not much for sitting on campus right now.

I've been itching for rooftops recently. I think I spoiled myself a little bit when I left home early to explore some different cities. Moberly has rooftops, but they don't have the rooftops I'm looking for. Of course, there goes that natural human tendency to want more. Once you've experienced the view from atop a ten story building, two stories feels like a children's playground. More and more, each time I come back, Moberly feels like a necropolis. The "magic city" certainly is magical, if you consider its ability to suck the life out of a person.

It's 12:49. Why am I still awake.

Home Sweet "Home"

Though I arrived back in the dismal dump that is Moberly on Monday night, I didn't return to the little nugget of peaceful solace that is campus until Tuesday morning. Since I was nearly a week early, my first order of business was to head straight to the I.T. department and verify with my new boss that I will be working for him this year, and then to the cafeteria to check in with my other boss that I'll be able to continue working for her in the cafeteria. After that was squared away, I drove over to the dorm and went in to let my R.A. know I had approval to move in early. Then I was able to start moving in.

The afternoon was spent hauling my larger items out of storage and back to campus, setting up my room, and helping others with their rooms. At long last, a very dear friend made her way back to campus and I spent the greater portion of the rest of the day helping her situate her room before I finally went back to getting my own situated. The remainder of the night was spent editing photos and going through footage from vacation.

Wednesday turned out to be equally busy. A run to Wal-Mart to replenish some basic supplies, more room setup, more figuring out my work situation for the year, an evening cookout at the Dean's house for student leadership, and a sunset rooftop exploration left me exhausted by the time I finally returned to the dorm. I finally went to bed right around 11. I must have fallen asleep and slept soundly, because I left my windows open overnight and was not awaken by the 1am and 2am trains. 

Now that it's Thursday, I've finally started work in I.T. This isn't the first time I've worked for the department. I had a brief stint during my freshman year that ended when I quit. I.T. was headed by a different person then who had an I'm-better-than-all-of-you attitude that I didn't want to deal with. But this summer, the new head of I.T. emailed me asking if I would work for him this year, and I was excited to say yes. Even if the work isn't always exciting (some things can be monotonous, but they're still necessary), I'm really looking forward to working with this guy for my final year on campus.

I have to be honest, though, and say that I'm not quite sure what keeps bringing me back to this place year after year. Aside from academics, there's really nothing steady here. Then again, there's not much that's been steady in my life anyway. The only constant has been change and the only stability has been found in knowing that nothing is stable. But there's something else this time around that has me wondering why I came back. Perhaps I'll blog about it soon.

Tomorrow I get to work again, possibly (hopefully) most of the day. As fun as traveling adventures can be, they can be expensive and my budget has been amply depleted. Aside from that, working gives me something to keep my hands busy and my mind preoccupied. Right now, I'm grateful for that and it may be just enough to give me the motivation I'll need to get up in the morning. This place may be home to me more than Eau Claire is, but even that is growing faint and weak when I remember the frailty of the temporal. 

It's nights like this where I should probably just take a shower and go to bed.

Picture This

I took my last week of summer off of work to go on an adventure before returning to Moberly for my senior year of college. I thought I'd make a post to share some photos I captured during that adventure. These are all my own photos.
You can click on each picture for a larger view.

Sunset from atop one of the cliffs looming protectively over the North Crossing (Hwy 312) in Eau Claire.

Highway 312 (a.k.a. the North Crossing) bridge over the Chippewa River in Eau Claire, WI. My apologies for the ghost edges on the right side of the picture: the product of bad stitching.

The cliffs at Mt. Simon park, downriver from the previous picture. One of my favorite places to hang out during the summer in Eau Claire.

Downtown Eau Claire as I'll forever remember it.

Though this is actually just a still frame taken from a video, I love the angle here. This is part of the route I took to access the rooftop from which the previous picture was taken.

It's not just the sights that make downtown Eau Claire special, but the sounds as well. Speakers like these are attached to streetlamp posts up and down Barstow street, and the music plays all day.

This van looked pretty rad, so I took a picture.

This small quarry in southwest Wisconsin caught the corner of my eye as I drove past. So, naturally, I just had to venture a closer look.

270-degree panorama of the beautiful downtown of Dubuque, Iowa from atop the Central Street parking ramp. 

The Mississippi River from atop the HWY 151 bridge. Wisconsin is on the east (right side of the photo) while Iowa is on the west (left side of the photo). 

The south side riverfront, downtown Waterloo, Iowa. 

 While walking around Des Moines with some internet friends, I couldn't resist a quick building climb to get a picture.

More of downtown Des Moines.

Capital building in Des Moines. Quite a beautiful place, really.

Home sweet home at this little nugget of solace in Moberly.

Iowa - Part 3: Des Moines

After an adventurous drive involving being offered a jello shot by a random stranger during standstill construction traffic on the highway, I finally rolled into the Days Inn in Ankeny, IA around 3:15pm on Friday. It was a full half-hour later than I had originally intended to arrive, but it turned out to be okay. My friends arrived at the time we had initially aimed for and discovered the Days Inn to be pretty gross. I got there in the middle of figuring out a different hotel to stay in. Eventually, we settled for the nicer Fairfield Inn across the parking lot.

I was meeting some internet friends and sharing a hotel room with them for the weekend while we hung out with other internet friends around Ankeny and Des Moines. This was a new adventure for me. Of the five of us, Katie came from Florida, Jon from Chicago, I came from Wisconsin, and our hosts, Mara and Patrick, lived in Ankeny. I know these people from a website that I've been frequenting for the past four and a half years, though, so it wasn't completely sketchy. We had been planning the event for a few months, and one person I had talking to frequently for several months, so I was filled with positive anticipation for what the weekend would hold.

Friday was interesting. Aside from the nervousness associated with meeting people from the internet, we had a lot of fun talking, playing musical instruments, opening a box containing a traveling eggroll (it's like a flat Stanley, only it's a creepy freaking eggroll) and signing it together, eating veggie lasagna, and drinking a bitter and really hoppy local IPA. There was much merriment, laughter, and good times.

Saturday, we went into Des Moines and ate lunch at Zombie Burger. To be honest, I was a little nervous about eating at a place with such a name, thinking the food might be overrated or overly hyped by the locals, but it surprised me. The restaurant seemed to be more of a novelty than quality in terms of pricing, but the food was pretty good. After that, walked over a couple blocks and explored the sculpture park, wandered around towntown, and played the piano that rests outside the public library. Then for dinner we all went to Jethro's BBQ for what ended up being amazing food. Another friend from the internet, Zeb, also met us there with his wife.

Sunday was Fair day! After spending the morning in the hot tub and pool at the hotel (during which I was reminded of how unpleasant chlorine is), we all piled into Mara's van and went out to the Iowa State Fair after getting lunch at Hyvee. Jon didn't come but had to leave to drive back to Chicago. I've been to the Northern Wisconsin State fair before, but that had nothing on this. The Iowa State Fair is huge. Actually, huge would be an understatement. It's basically a town all to itself. As far as attractions, there are the usual fair items like an endless supply of fried food, $6 beers, petting zoos, camels, farm implement, games, rides, and concerts. But this fair has something that no other fair (to my knowledge) has: the butter cow. After the fair, since it was already late, we just hung out at Mara's apartment before going back to the hotel for the night.  

Monday, Katie and I checked out of the hotel and went into Des Moines to meet Patrick for lunch and then explored more of the downtown area for a while. We checked out the public library, I played the outdoor piano again, and we went hunting atop a parking ramp for a geocache that we were unable to locate. I tried gaining access to the top floor of the tallest building downtown (over 40 stories tall), but was told that unless I had an appointment with the law firm there, I would be unable to access any level above the third floor. Around 2:30, we went back to Mara's apartment to hang out and ended up making a Target run. Then, around 4:00, it was time for me to hit the gas station, add a little oil to my engine, clean my windshield, and be on my way.

The drive from Des Moines to Moberly was both pleasant and nostalgic. It was my first time taking US 63 into Missouri since April of 2013, and I had actually forgotten what much of it looked like. I got into Moberly a little before 8:30 and stayed the night with my friend Caleb and his wife, Sara. Now that it is Tuesday, I'm heading back to campus to help set up sound and tech equipment in the gym, talk with my new boss about work schedule, settle into the dorm, and see somebody very dear to me whom I miss very much. This last week has been pretty crazy, but I'm grateful for God's constant grace. Even in my periods of doubt and disbelief, He holds me and calls me His child. That blows my mind in ways I could never hope to comprehend. 

Right now, that's enough to get me by.

Iowa - Part 2: Waterloo

I've driven through Waterloo more times than I've driven through Dubuque, yet Thursday was the first time I actually explored the city. Needless to say, the adventure was about 3 years overdue. At first, Waterloo reminded me quite a bit of Wausau, WI. The downtown is literally split in two by the Cedar River, with plenty to see and do on both sides. Before I tell you about my adventure yesterday, let's begin with a little backstory.

This isn't the first time I've stopped in Waterloo. In January of 2013, I found myself stuck here for a few days when my car broke down. I remember parking my car in a ramp and being offered a discounted room on the top floor of the Ramada. I ended up snapping this next photo from my hotel room the next morning. This was when I first got into photo editing, so naturally, it's over-edited to the point of looking like a painting. 

That sunrise  through the clouds, though.

Since then I've contemplated returning, but didn't make a serious plan of it until less than two weeks ago when I decided to take last week off of work and to leave home a couple days early. I figured after Dubuque, I could swing down to Waterloo and stay with a friend while I explored the city. So, that's what I did.

My first impression while wandering around downtown was that Waterloo reminds me of Wausau, WI. Though not as pretty as Wausau (it must be a Wisconsin thing), Waterloo certainly has its own fair share of beauty. The riverfront on both sides is primarily concrete with walkways permitting access down to the water below the dam. Since it looked slippery and I wasn't ready to risk losing a second GoPro, I decided not to venture a closer look.

Waterloo has a lot of bridges. I mean, Eau Claire has a lot of bridges too, but four consecutive streets of downtown Waterloo bridge across the water: and that's just part of downtown. There's also what appears to be an outdoor concert venue on the north side of the river (kind of like downtown Wausau). Though Waterloo has a larger population than Dubuque, there seem to be fewer downtown parking ramps, fewer tall buildings, and I did not see any downtown gas stations either.

Also unlike Dubuque, my favorite part of Waterloo was not the rooftops or the scenery. Actually, I found myself frustrated that the one rooftop I really wanted to get onto, and seemed so obviously accessible, I couldn't get onto. If I had maybe eight more inches of vertical wall running ability, I could have gotten access to the obscenely long fire escape that goes up a rooftop that would have offered me a fantastic 360 panorama of the city. Alas, the woes of being short. 

My favorite part of Waterloo lies downtown on the north side of the river. It's called Volks Haus, and it's more than just a German pub that serves delicious brats and German beer: it's a place I'll never forget. The bar top was polished brass and the mugs were frosty.The bartenders happened to be some of the kindest folks I've met, and the people there were very lively for conversation. I don't think I'll forget talking in particular with two people: Mike, and Taylor. 

Mike is a kind-spoken man who works at the Salvation Army. He admits his frustration of working with a Christian-based organization while he struggles to reconcile his desire to believe in a singular deity with his nagging doubts . Curious, I probed around a bit and discovered that his doubt, which seems to primarily lie in the probable implications of there only being one way, is fed greatly by seeing many other world religions claiming to have "the" way. How is he to believe one over the other? He seemed more content to believe that all deities are the same.

Taylor is an environmental science major who enjoys singing, cave exploration, travel, cooking, and bartending. Our conversation branched off from my conversation with Mike and I discovered that this lively woman is quite a bit like me: she prefers to base her judgments regarding belief and worldview on facts. It was interesting to share information back and forth with her. Eventually, more people came in and it got too busy for our conversation to continue. Alas, I was really getting into it too.

Anyway, now that it's Friday, it's time for me to be on my way again. Literally, as soon as I publish this, I have to shower and hit the road for my next stop, where I'll be all weekend. Today I'm grateful for the fact that reality isn't based on how I feel.

"I realize my identity is not in what I've seen but in what I believe to be true." -August Burns Red

Regardless of what I believe to be true, this statement holds weight and credence. I'm reminded that it's crucial to know what I believe. 

Iowa - Part 1: Dubuque

It may seem like little more than a bigger version of Eau Claire when all you're doing is driving through (yawn, yay), but upon closer inspection, Dubuque is magnificent. It's not quite as aesthetically appealing as Eau Claire (though to be fair, few cities are), but it has a river to the east and high bluffs to the west, leaving the downtown area nestled in its own little topographical groove.

As you probably figured, this is where I was yesterday. Instead of leaving Eau Claire around 8am and arriving around 11:30am like I had initially planned (I was serious about wanting to explore all of Dubuque), I ended up hitting the road around 11:00 and didn't cross the Mississippi until after 2:30. This left me only four hours before I had to get on the road again. Four hours is not a long time.

The first ten minutes were spent trying to find a place to park where I would remember to find my car. Fortunately, Dubuque is a city, and cities have parking ramps. Unfortunately, it took me a little while to find a parking ramp that would either let me in (the first one was a public ramp, but the ticket machine wasn't working) or didn't require a permit (the second ramp I tried was permit-only). I finally settled for the Iowa street ramp. 

The next half hour was actually spent sitting on my trunk with my acoustic, noodling around and singing to myself while my GoPro charged inside the car. Eventually, the little camera regained the bar of battery charge it had lost on the way from Eau Claire (I may have stopped a few times for photo opportunities). I put the guitar back in its case, put the GoPro back in its housing, attached it to its head strap, tucked my spare key into my pocket (nobody likes carrying around a big bundle of keys), hid my other keys in the glove compartment, grabbed my sport pack, put headphones in my ears, and was on my way.

Since I didn't have much time (it was already 3:15), I didn't waste any of it. I immediately scoped out the highest rooftop that I could quickly access and went up to snap a couple views. Accepting that I didn't have enough time to actually get around to climbing any buildings (which was a real bummer, since I saw at least a few that I would love to go back and try), I walked around and saw everything that I could see. 

Of course, no trip to a city is complete without getting into at least a little bit of parkour shenanigans. My right wrist and left foot weren't feeling the greatest to begin with, so some things I saw that would have been a lot of fun to try simply didn't happen. In an effort to conserve battery, I also neglected to leave my camera rolling (and thus forgot that it wasn't recording), so I didn't get to capture much at all. I think my favorite part was when I ran up a wall to a low rooftop and a lady down below smiled to the guy next to her and pointed at me. Thank you, random lady. Putting a smile on your face definitely put a smile on mine.

Since I hadn't eaten since about 8am, I got hungry around 4:30 and decided it would be a good time to find a place where I could sit down and process a few pictures. So I went back to my car, paid $3 for my parking, had a conversation with the parking cashier who told me about a few things to explore which I wish I would have known before, and went to the McDonald's across the street. There I sat and went through all of the pictures I had gotten from the day, and ended up with 4 panoramas that I thought looked somewhat acceptable.

After talking on the phone with an internet friend regarding upcoming plans for this weekend, I called another friend who I stayed with last night (and will again tonight), hopped in my car, and drove away to leave the city. Of course, I didn't end up leaving immediately. There were just a couple things that caught my eye. So, naturally, I decided to stick around for just a little longer to investigate these things.

The first one was a freight train parked less than 100 feet away from a railroad crossing. I quickly drove around the block, parked, grabbed my GoPro, and ran around the front of the train to hopefully catch a couple pictures. However, as soon as I got around to the other side of the train, its horn blared and it started moving. Thinking quickly, I switched my camera back to video mode, got down low next to the train (maybe three or four feet away), and filmed the cars as they rolled past. The footage actually doesn't look too bad.

The second was a gas station. It wasn't the gas station itself, though, but the price they had advertised on their sign: $3.25/gal for regular unleaded (with the usual up-to-ten-percent ethanol). It was the lowest price I had seen in a while. Even though prices have dropped a little in Eau Claire, I still paid $3.59/gal when I filled up yesterday morning. So, naturally, I topped off my tank and seized the opportunity to add a little oil to the engine and clean the windshield. 

Now I was on my way. It was about 6:45 when I finally left. I didn't want to keep my friend waiting, so I didn't make any more stops. I did, however, manage to film the sunset as I drove westward. I arrived in Waterloo right around 9:00 and pulled into my friend's driveway a few minutes later. His family so far has been very kind and hospitable. I was pretty tired last night, though, so I don't remember much. I think I dozed off around 11 the first time, was woke up around midnight, and flopped on the couch they had prepared for me.

Now that I have a little coffee in me this morning, I think it's time to eat something and head into town to do a little more exploring. Because this week is all about adventure, and today's adventure is all about exploring Waterloo.

Today I'm grateful for air to breathe, coffee to drink, a hospitable family, and God's relentless grace.

Oh, Claire

This is it. I'm finally leaving.

It's bittersweet to think about. As excited as I am to get on the road, I find myself suddenly wanting to stay just a little longer. This is when I have to remind myself to stick to what I said. Besides, the upcoming adventures of the rest of this week and this weekend are FAR too exciting to even think about ditching out on. Of course I'll be posting updates as I go, but I'm not going to list them up-front. If there's one thing I've learned about plans and adventures, it's this: adventures change plans.

Eau Claire has been such a prominent part of my life for the past seven years that it's difficult to think about leaving it behind. Granted, I moved away in 2011 and have only been back intermittently, but this time it feels different. Each time it felt like I was only away temporarily. This time I have a hunch that the temporal is going to give way to the permanent. In concrete terms, I don't think I'll be coming back this time.

But it's time to close this chapter of my life and write another. Without giving anything away (I have a rather lengthy post-in-progress that I've been chipping away at which explains why I want to leave, but don't know yet if I'll want to publish it), I can only say for certain that it's time leave the past and step forward into the unknown. Who knows; maybe I'll learn to live more in the moment?

Last night I read back through my journal and found myself weeping over past entries as I sat alone on this rooftop. Oddly, though, I found myself encouraged in a way I cannot explain. God is faithful, and He will never leave me. I can't express how much I needed to go back and read my own words saying that.

Time to take a leap off of the precipice.

Last Day

It's official: I have one more day in Wisconsin.

It's going to be busy, too. There are still a few things I want to do (a panoramic photo of downtown from a particular rooftop, explore another rooftop, film the sunset), things that I have to do (pack up, clean and load my car) and things I probably should do (say goodbye to people, visit my mom). How I'm going to cram all of that into one day, I'm not exactly sure. But, I know that it'll work out. Even now, I'm running through in my mind how I can go about fitting it all into one day.

Still, in the midst of all this end-of-summer busyness, I've found myself lacking. Lately I've been staying up later and later to process footage, edit photos, compile videos, write blog posts, or just chat with people. Then I go to bed, sleep until I wake up, and do it all over again. This has knocked my sleep schedule off-kilter and has been leaving me exhausted. I'm not complaining, because it's definitely my own fault. But sometimes exhausted can be a good thing.
These past several weeks I've been angry and bitter, and really haven't given God much thought. In the midst of busyness, confusion, and pain, I've been ignoring Him. Instead I found myself focusing on things like work, finishing an online class, planning for the semester coming up, and other things to keep my mind off of something that happened in early July. But these last couple days, like the loving Father that He is, God has been gently reminding me that He loves me.

Other people have been reminding me of the same thing, too. This is bizarre for me, because I'm usually the one reminding other people. But everybody falls sometime and I'm certainly no exception. I'm understanding more and more the difficulty there can be in actually believing that God loves us broken people. To be honest, I've been having a lot of doubts. But this comes as a result of basing reality on how I feel rather than on what I know. When I base reality on how I feel, lines blur, boundaries get crossed, and it becomes difficult to differentiate between truth and error, let alone remember who I am and what I'm called to be.

All this adds to my wanting to leave here, too. That's why I've been jittery with anticipation of what's just around the corner. Right now, nothing feels more satisfying in my mind than the thought of getting in my car on Wednesday morning and driving away. I love this city, but it's time to leave. My desire to leave is so strong that it's difficult to remember it as being a want and not an imminent need. What I want is to just get on the road and go. What I need to do is slow down, breathe, and look up.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

In 48 hours, I'll be leaving Eau Claire.

I feel like it can't come soon enough. My body's getting jittery just thinking about it. 48 hours is all I have to explore whatever else I can of this town before I leave it all behind. Schedule-wise, I could probably stick around another day or so. Mentally and emotionally, not so much. Don't get me wrong; I love this city. However, it seems to be about time for me to be on my way. New adventures await.

Still, more adventures are to be had here before I leave. Today and Tuesday will be just as busy as this weekend was. Though I spent time at the cliffs the last three days in a row, odds are I'll end up there these last couple days. I do have a couple specific plans, though, that I'd really like to see through. Mostly, it's a matter of finding the right timing. I have yet to film a sunset.

I find it almost ironic that I want to be alone more when I only have a couple days left to see people and say goodbye. But, leaving is stressful. Whether I'm leaving Missouri to go to Wisconsin or leaving Wisconsin to go to Missouri, leaving is stressful. It's nights like this and others before that I'm grateful for free nighttime parking. Under the cover of dark, I can slip away unnoticed to the rooftops to find sanctuary for my sanity. 

Every city will have rooftops, though not every rooftop will offer the same spectacular view. I won't always be able to sit on top of a rock and watch the sun set over the river, and not every horizon will belong to the trees. I won't always be able to stand up and look out across the entire city. But every city will have rooftops, places I can go to be alone where nobody will find me, places of refuge. 

I can tell that the stress of leaving is starting to set in, though. It's evident in my lack of ability to get to sleep at a decent time. Trying to cram extra things in while fulfilling normal duties, I find myself droning away into the night, going through footage, cleaning up my hard drive, writing blog posts, making sure I'm not missing anything important that needs to happen before I go. It's times like this that I'm grateful for coffee and God's constant grace. Sometimes, those two things are just enough to get me by.

Tick tock, 48 hours. Time to make it count.

There's That Feeling Again

This is one view I'm going to miss.

As I sat down on the edge of this precipice and looked out toward the horizon, an old, familiar feeling crept over me: nostalgia. How many times had I come up here in previous years in the evenings or even late at night to just sit down and stare off into the distance? How many times between seventeen and eighteen did I think about jumping or running away? How many times between nineteen and twenty did I come up and think about the latter? Then that feeling crept over me: nostalgia.

Sometimes nostalgia is a good thing. This time, it wasn't. Because with the nostalgia came a nostalgic feeling: anxiety. It's the feeling that slowly inches my mind toward flight mode and makes me want to do one thing: leave. Then I look at my calendar and count the days until I can get out of here, trying to think of ways I can shorten that time. Tonight, sitting on that cliff, I found myself thinking about just that.

Today was my last day of work for the summer, which leaves only days before I leave. I don't attach a number to "days" because though I know when I'm currently planning to leave, I could end up leaving sooner or later. Right now I'm going to say it depends on how long it takes me to take care of a few things and then explore the things which I still want to explore. 

Frankly, there are things here I haven't yet explored. Since I never know if I'm ever coming back, I always try to do something I haven't just before I leave. If it goes well, then I have a great memory to take with me. If it goes wrong, then at least I'm leaving town soon. Plus, it gives me something positive to think about while I'm driving, instead of the usual down-and-inward spiral my mind tends to take when I don't have anything else to reflect on.

It's too easy to get stuck viewing life from behind a steering wheel. I've driven cross-country about 20 times now. After a while of seeing past the same steering wheel and out the same windshield, everything around me starts to look the same. Different pictures, same frame. Eventually I start to dread the drive, not because it's so long, but because it's so monotonous. Yet after a while of being in one place living monotonously, something in my mind starts itching. That feeling creeps back in.

It's nights like this when I have to remind myself that I can't base reality on how I feel and tell myself to just go to sleep because in the morning, I'll wake up to a new day.